How to build your language confidence from the ground up

Small steps, big gains

Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

Unfortunately, for most of us confidence in a new language isn’t something we can buy in a phrasebook or pick up in a week—it’s built step-by-step, often when you’re least expecting it. It takes time, small wins and a sense of humour, especially when it feels like every other word is coming out wrong. Here’s how you can build it in a way that’s realistic, even with a busy schedule.

Start with small wins in familiar settings

When we think of building confidence, it’s easy to imagine high-pressure situations like formal meetings or ordering food in a foreign country. But confidence often grows best in quieter, more familiar moments where you can practice without pressure. Try rehearsing with simple sentences at home, in your car or even by leaving yourself voice notes in the language you’re learning. The aim is to build up these smaller, private “wins” until they feel second nature.

Tip: Choose one or two “anchor phrases” you can use daily. For example, say good morning to yourself or repeat an affirmation in the language you’re learning. Repeating these phrases will help you feel more comfortable speaking the language - and if you live with other people, you can just say them silently in your head!

Laugh off mistakes and track your progress

We often dread making mistakes, but in language learning, they’re absolute gold. Not only do they make for memorable stories down the line, but they also make it easier for you to remember the correct way of saying things.

For example, during one of my first conversations with a new Spanish friend, I was trying to say I was excited about a concert, so I said, “Estoy excitado por el concierto.” They gave me a funny look because excitado in Spanish usually means “aroused,” not “excited” in the usual sense! A small mix-up, but one I won’t forget—and now it’s a permanent entry in my mistake diary.

A mistake diary may sound a little counter-intuitive but it can be a great way to build confidence. Looking back at mine, I see all the moments where I made an idiot of myself - but I lived to tell the tale and could see the funny side.

Tip: The mistake diary isn’t just for errors—it’s also a fantastic way to track your progress. Reviewing it occasionally reminds you of how far you’ve come, and it lightens the pressure to get everything perfect.

Fit language into your routine (whatever that looks like)

If you’re strapped for time whether due to family or work commitments, don’t stress about adding hours of study. Instead, fit language into what you’re already doing. Listen to podcasts while cooking, play music during your commute, or put on a short video in the language while you’re doing errands at home. These “invisible learning” moments add up without needing big blocks of time. If you’ve got kids, you can also get them involved, but more on that in a future article.

Challenge: Try switching the language on a frequently used app on your phone. For the first day, it’ll be a bit confusing, but seeing familiar words in new forms really reinforces vocabulary. You’ll be surprised how quickly it becomes natural.

Focus on connection over perfection

Especially if you’re on the shy side, speaking in a new language can feel daunting. Rather than aiming for flawless delivery, focus on communicating, connecting, and getting your point across. People rarely remember grammar slip-ups or pronunciation stumbles—they’ll remember a warm attempt to connect. And as you practice this, you’ll start to feel a bit more at ease with every conversation.

Tip: Practise with people who know some of your language or speak it as a second language. This mutual understanding creates a low-pressure environment, perfect for building confidence and connecting meaningfully without fearing you’ll be misunderstood.

language learning isn’t a sprint—it’s more like a hike with plenty of surprising detours

Give yourself credit for small wins

I’ve seen so many learners get discouraged because they feel they “should be further along.” But fluency isn’t a sprint—it’s more of a scenic hike with plenty of unexpected turns. Celebrate the small stuff: the first time you order a meal without stumbling, or the day you understand an entire movie scene without subtitles. These wins might seem tiny, but they’re markers of real progress. And they’re exactly what will fuel your confidence over time.

Reflect: At the end of each week, take a minute to note down one moment where you used your language, however small. Over time, you’ll see a visible record of progress, and that’s really motivating.

Surround yourself with authentic content

To gain confidence, you need to hear the language spoken naturally and organically. I’m not talking about polished audio tracks designed for beginners, but the real stuff: podcasts, music, even reality shows where the language is unfiltered. This will not only expose you to authentic accents and expressions but also train your ear for the rhythm and melody of the language.

Tip: Find something you actually enjoy, whether that’s sports commentary in Italian, cooking shows in Japanese, or even Spanish telenovelas. Make it entertaining, and it won’t feel like learning at all.

Finally, be kind to yourself

Learning a language is challenging enough without setting sky-high expectations. Give yourself a break, especially on the days when you feel like you’re back at square one. And remember, speaking a language isn’t about getting every word right—it’s about connecting with people, learning, and opening up to new experiences. The more you can enjoy that process, the easier confidence will come.